PTSD: Esther's Best Illness

In most of my life’s experiences and education of human growth there is one slogan that has to be stopped right now and that is “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”  No matter how some people feel about it and want to support this slogan it is not true.  Words do hurt.  With Esther’s case it is not only the words, but also how the words are said and the actions that follow.  To this very day one of the biggest mental illnesses known to our species is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  Esther may not actually be chronically ill with PTSD or her thoughts are not as deeply affected by her past, but it still does have an impact on her actions and plays a role in her life. 

While living with her Godmother (aunt) she is shown no emotion from her or the servant.  The emotional trauma that she experiences when she has her birthday always brings shame, embarrassment, and the feeling of being guilty.  Instead of someone of celebrating the day that you were brought into this world her aunt says that it was a mistake would be troublesome for anyone to handle.  Because of all this early conditioned learning, Esther has a mental illness.  Esther seems to be one of the few that use this illness to her own advantage to appreciate the relationships that she does build later in life. 

Within the story, her “illness” allows her to be a more trustworthy narrator.  The reader is can better understand her point of view when she is not worried about the Jarndyce vs. Jarndyce case.  Her motivation is not driven by prestige, power, or wealth.  The only wealth that she is looking for is a sense of belonging within society or her group of friends. 

Within her life her decisions she is able to appreciate a great opportunity for love when it presents itself.  After Esther accepts Mr. Jarndyce’s proposal for marriage she feels the need to get rid of the bouquet of flowers that Allan Woodcourt had given to her.  She was trying to give her whole self to Mr. Jarndyce and getting rid of the bouquet that, “preserved in memory something that was wholly past and gone.”  Even later with Mr. Woodcourt’s renewed love proposal is shot down because she thought she should out of respect for Mr. Jarndyce.  It was only after Mr. Jarndyce gives Esther to Mr. Woodcourt that she is able to outwardly recognize her true feelings.